these past 8 weeks...

...have gone by way too fast.

I was a student teacher to the best class of 22 1st and 2nd grade students who I love so so much. They made it worth my alarm going off at 5:45am every morning. I knew that as soon as I got to school, my desire to go straight back to bed would disappear. Every morning it did.

I worked at Pendleton Elementary.

Demographics:

-98% on free lunch

-30% considered homeless

-Most students live in surrounding hotels

-Most students have gone through more than the average human being goes through in a life time

-Many behavioral problems

-Many students come and go following whatever their parents "feel like doing"

-Many sad, sad stories

I experienced a lot while I was there. Just today, two boys were suspended on the account of swinging the door to my classroom open and throwing wood chips into it. Oh, and graffitiing all over the bathroom walls. One day, pot was brought to school. One day, students set the trash can in the bathroom on fire. That happened more than once. I could go on and on, but I won't.

My class was a little different though. We hardly had any behavioral problems, just many sad stories of places where these kids come from. But they always smiled. Some days were tough. Some days students showed their fears. But I always saw them smile.

In turn, they made me smile every single day I greeted them at the door. They were excited to be at school. The 8 weeks flew by and when today came, I couldn't hold back my tears. Pendleton became my home and when I was finally getting settled, Biola moves me to another school. My students knew I was leaving and would come in every morning telling me how many days I had left. They would always tell me to stay forever and become their teacher. I told them if they wanted, they could come to 4th grade with me. They all agreed and planned out our entire agenda for this upcoming week.

Saying goodbye was hard. I knew I would be sad when the day came, but I didn't think this place would mean so much to me. This placement has opened my eyes to a lot of the darkness in our world. It's been good. I've seen the bigger picture of life. I've become more selfless. I've learned to love a whole lot more. I've been confirmed that teaching is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. It's been good.

Kirstin, Freddie, Stephaney

Annie Bananie & Lilly Ann

All of us!

Ms. Sherman and I..learned a lot from this lady!

Next plan of attack. 4th graders.

Submit.

Submission: A very hard thing to do, especially if you are someone who likes to take control of every situation they face. If you are anything like me, you don't really like submit, have others tell you what to do, let others take care of your situations. If you are anything like me, you want to do it all yourself. You can ask my parents...I was one of those kids who did not want anyone to tell her what to do...which got me into trouble just about everyday.

To this day, I still want to figure everything out on my own. (It definitely has it's pros and cons, but we will stick with the cons today.) I don't want others to tell me what to do. Bringing that over to my relationship with the Lord, though, can get me into trouble. God calls us to submit, to lay everything down at His feet and surrender it to Him. I have trouble with that. I may pray these prayers that I want God to answer. I say, "Lord, I submit these things to you," but then I go right back into worrying and trying to figure out the situations myself. No bueno.

Last summer I interned with the high school youth group at my church. I loved it. It was amazing. I loved the high schoolers. I loved going to work everyday. I probably had more fun at events than 16 year olds. Interning at a church is probably one of the best jobs anyone could as for. Now that I am not around these people, I love getting onto facebook and see what the high schoolers are up to. I love, love, LOVE reading their statuses because they say the neatest, most Godly thoughts that you don't often hear high schoolers say. I am so blessed to know each and every one of these guys and love seeing how they have grown in this small amount of time. One status I read said, "I'm gonna stay in this place as long as it takes because I want you to hear me say, "Lord have your way."

That is submission. Finally, giving yourself over to the Lord, saying, "Have your way." When I finally am able to say that, I see God work in some pretty amazing ways. Looking back at my past and seeing the times that I gave God whatever was present in my life over to Him, I am able to see some pretty amazing prayers answered.

I'm in a part of my life right now where I must confess that I will stay in this spot as long as it takes because I want Him to hear me say, "Lord have your way." It's not easy, but I have to remember that if God brought me through it in the past, why would he not bring me through it now?

"Let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper. Say a quiet yes to God and he'll be there in no time. Quit dabbling in sin. Purify your inner life. Quit playing the field. Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out. The fun and games are over. Get serious, really serious. Get down on your knees before the Master; it's the only way you'll get on your feet." -James 4:7

It's time to submit.

Mas.

A few more added.

Hello Spring time, let's start taking some pictures.

Teddi at the Getty Villa in Malibu.

Caught Blake napping in the backyard.

Here you go.

Take a look...I'll have to post some more later!

Yes, I still love my turtles. Yes, I cleaned out their

aquarium two nights ago. Yes, it had been over two

months since it had been done. And yes, I bought

them some food. I am a good owner.

Emily Johnson.

Our backyard had grass that reached the back wall...

very tall. One morning, I woke up to a flat, boring

backyard with no grass. My roommates loved it. I did not.

I miss that grass.

Smiling at the smallest of things.

Today my students got new crayons. I have never seen anyone so excited to receive something so small. Ya, they are first graders and they really don't have much else to worry about, but getting that Crayola box of 16 crayons made their day, if not their entire year of being 6 years old.

The students kept showing me their pencil box and the new set of crayons that were in it. Some organized them according to color, some organized them horizontal and others, vertical. Whatever they did, they could not take their eyes off their new crayons. Something as so small as a box of crayons gave these kids the biggest smiles I have ever seen.

As I was admiring these beautiful pencil boxes and smiles, it got me thinking about how much I don't smile at the little things in my life. I wish I did. I get so caught up in what is going wrong in my life or how my day didn't go exactly how I planned that I forget to look for those small things that make me grin. Even working in a classroom, I am so critical of how I teach and I will end the lesson frustrated at how I taught. If I would only look at the fact that the students are enjoying themselves and they are learning...that is what should make me smile.

If we smile at the little things, our lives may become a little more positive, a little brighter, and a lot more exciting. Finding the joy in the midst of trials, finding the sun through the rain, and learning to smile every day may make your day a little better. :-)

Self Diagnosis

I have a "problem." It came about a few months ago and I decided I should probably do something about it. So I thought I would self diagnose myself. Who needs to go to the doctor when you can assess the problem yourself?

I think I have a cold case of short term memory loss. Call me crazy, but if I forget to call you back, text you back, or forget about you all together, don't feel bad. It's due to my short term memory loss. I can't remember things for the life of me. I would forget my head if it wasn't connected to my neck. Good thing it is.

Some of the things I've been forgetting:

-I'm enrolled in one class at Biola. Just one. I forgot to turn in the one homework assignment we had. It took me about a week to realize that. Luckily my teacher is full of grace.

-One of my best friends called. We planned a weekend for her to visit. She called me two days before the visit to talk about the visit. I told her I forgot about the visit. She told me we weren't friends anymore. Just kidding. We are still friends and she came to visit.

-Sometimes I will text someone and forget who I texted. I will try really hard to remember without looking at my phone. I know I have texted someone, but I just can't remember who it was.

-Forgot my running shoes and every single pair of socks that I own at home one weekend. Really not like me.

-Loose my keys and cell phone on a daily basis. That's not normal for me.

-Forget who I tell that I have short term memory loss and constantly share that piece of information with them. They remind me of that about every hour.

-I would write more, but I forgot some of the things I forget.

Ohhh forgetfulness....

Easy lives don't make great stories.

Beth Moore said that and she is pretty darn right. I always pray that God will improve my character no matter how uncomfortable it may be. What I have learned...it doesn't make for an easy life.

Here are a few blessings in my life...

My family.

My roommates.

Teddi Lynn Pierce.

Some pretty amazing kids I met in Africa.

And coffee. Wakes me up every morning.

I'm a blogger.

If you would have asked me a year ago if I would ever blog, I would laugh really hard. And I wouldn't be laughing with you. I was never the blogger type until a few months ago. It was really when I began preparing for my time I spent in Africa. I felt like it is so important that I write down my thoughts, get them out of my head, and write them on a piece of paper. To share with others. To get them off my chest. And to be able to look back and see God's hand in every situation. Call me crazy. I am now a blogger.

Every night before I go to bed, which was around 10:30pm, but now it seems to be getting latter and latter, I read out of Oswald Chambers', My Utmost for His Highest. It's a daily devotional book, very short and straight to the point. February 22- I read and I have stayed on that day since then. I usually don't do this, but this one particular devotion was SO good. I mean really, really good. Entitled, The Discipline of Spiritual Tenacity, Oswald explains the word, tenacity. It's more than endurance. It's more than a hope that may not follow through. It is an absolute certainty that what we are looking for is going to transpire. Oswald writes that "the greatest fear a man has is not that he will be damned, but that Jesus Christ will be worsted, that the things He stood for-love and justice and forgiveness and kindness among men-will not win out in the end." We must hang out, persevere, knowing that God will not be worsted.

God has it all under control. We need to keep trusting. Keep persevering. "If our hopes are being disappointed just now, it means that they are being purified."

Remain spiritually tenacious.

I think of this with teaching and what my future holds. I could go on and on about how bad the school systems have become, but I won't. I probably won't have a job come August 2010. What will I do? Good question. I get that a lot. Where will I live? Once again, good question that I get a lot.

As of right now, I am remaining spiritually tenacious. If God wants me to have my own classroom come August 2010, I will have my own classroom. If not, does it make me sad that I won't be able to pursue my dreams right now? Yes, very sad. I've only wanted to be a teacher since I was little. I would have my "pretend" classroom held in my living room, walking around in my mom's high heels that made grown up noises and passing out my mom's left over Sunday school worksheets. Teaching is something I have wanted to do since I can remember and I finally (thank the Lord!) am able to! Expect there are no jobs available.

Remaining spiritually tenacious. It's all I can do.